…that’s right, looking for a reciprocal arrangement for the club. MAN DID WE SCORE! The NW Chapter of the Dumb Fuc*ers have agreed to unite and share in all the bountiful benefits associated with their club. All they had was this hat… but I’ll take it!
These guys (and wives aka Fuc*ettes) really know how to relax and enjoy in what they call the gracious living hour which starts around 4:00 PM and lasts to the last one standing.
An esteemed yet reserved member of the DFers summed up their philosophy & mission statement below.
First things first. We need to appoint our Flag Officers. The most important, Bartender, appears to be filled. Commode-a-door has been called for. We need the ceremonial, whites wearing, snobbish talking for official functions. We’ll also need a Vice Commodadoor, (In The) Rear Commodadoor, Boson and Purser. Most importantly we need a purpose and luckily I have one in mind.
Soulless In Seattle
Since Doc Maynard reportedly fell off the landing craft dead drunk at Alki, Seattle has been going downhill. Sure it used to have the honor of having the Navy’s most off duty banned spots on the west coast. Even the 90’s had Grunge. Here’s the current state of affairs: canyons of apartments and condos filled with fresh faced over educated screen watching, code typing, afraid to go anywhere without consulting their phones sanitized and reviewed on Yelp, Sounder’s attending, constantly texting, clueless and soulless in Seattle. Very few have actually had a real time experience like getting so drunk they shoot flares off their sailboats, barf in a sink on a boat, or get hung high and dry on a rock. How do we help these nerdy millennials and Volvo and Subaru driving committee joining, endless meetings with no outcome boomers?
Sell Them Nautical Crap
That’s right. We can fill that empty spot where their souls should be by selling them AYC/ DF cheap nautical crap hopefully made in Bangladesh at a highly marked up price to make them feel like they belong. They don’t of course but we can direct them to our website where we charge them $25.00 to join the AYC/DF. After that we sell them DF/AYC T-Shirts, hats, burgees, scarfs they can wear at Sounders’ games, and walk down the canyons with their faces firmly stuck in a phone screen looking for someone else to tell them where to eat, drink and screw. Hey, we can do that too by having a button on our website that directs them to the last dive bars in the Northwest including Canada if they know how to drive. Picture a t-shirt with Doc Maynard falling off the launch onto Alki made for 4 bucks selling for $30 on our site. DF hats for $35, cups for $25. We’ll give them the virtual experience they seek and make them feel like they are having an authentic Northwest experience.
Ok. The fleet has now increased to 3 sailboats with s/v Pointless (yours truly) still being the largest by a full foot. The title of “best kept” is now appointed to the highly polished & varnished Cheoy Lee Lion 35′ Freebooter.